I am divorced from a very abusive man. When we were together, he insisted that I convert to Pentacostal Christianity (very Fundamentalist Christian), and he wanted our kids raised that way. I did this, even though he was often too hung over to take the children to church. I have been physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by this man.

I found out that he was physically abusing my son recently. My son is mine from a previous marriage, but my current X helped me raise him from the time he was 2. When I found out, I ended all visitation with the X and my oldest son. Howeever, I'm under court order to maintain visitation with my 3 younger children with him. I'm now in the middle of a custody fight with XH over the younger 3 kids, because I'm afraid for their safety.

During all of this, I discovered Wicca, and felt that it was the right faith for me, as I was never 100% into either Roman Catholicism or Pentacostal Christianity. In the forum for Pagan parents, I described a beautiful moment with my youngest daughter, where we really talked and connected. She wanted to pray that her dad and I would get back together. I told her that that wouldn't happen, but we prayed for her dad's safety and happiness.

I got a letter in the mail today from XH's attorney. Aside from the fact that XH is mad about the fact that I have the kids in therapy to deal with him, the letter also addresses is the fact that I'm practicing Wicca instead of Pentacostal Christianity, and that I force the children to participate in rituals.

Unfortunately, my oldest daughter (14 YO) seems to be siding with XH. She is mad at me about the recent turmoil in our lives now. She is mad that I want to move out of the city, since her friends are here. She is mad that I'm trying to change the visitation and custody agreement. And she thinks that Wicca is "weird" and she's mad that I'm practicing that instead of her dad's version of Christianity. She also is trying to tell me that my ODS is lying to me about being scared of XH, and that he really wants to live with XH. It feels like I'm losing her, and that breaks my heart. I love her so much and I'm so scared for her.

I never forced the kids to participate in my faith. My YDD wanted to see what it was about. So the "ritual" that she attended with me was me lighting candles, burning incense, and we prayed to Jesus, since that is how she understands God. In fact, we got to talking, really talking, about her feelings. And we said some prayer to Jesus for her father too. It was a beautiful experience between us that he is trying to turn into this ugly thing.

Honestly, Wicca is keeping me from being too mad at XH. I follow the Rede and the Rule of Three. So when I pray for him to go away and leave me alone, I pray that it happens in a way that doesn't harm anyone. Wicca is forcing me to be kinder and more compassionate to XH then Christianity ever did. When I was a Christian, I used to pray that God would strike him down!

Luckily, I have a friend on another support group website who is a lawyer and gave me some info to forward to my attorney. I'll post that as a response to this post in case some of you would find it useful, as this is getting long. I could just really use your blessings, kind thoughts, and prayers right now. Thanks!

OK, so my XH is an elected city counselor where we live. As such, he is bound by more legal rules than the average citizen. My attorney friend wrote to me and told me to forward this to my attorney who is handling my custody case. Here is what she wrote; I hope that you guys find it useful:

"Your XH is now engaging in religious discrimination, in violation of the U.S. Constitution. He is in violation of 42 USC 1983, aka the Anti-KKK Act. By his attorney sending this letter to you, it makes it a "conspiracy" as two or more people are involved, violating 42 USC 1985. Neither attorneys, judges nor elected officials are excluded from this. His "employers" (ie. the voters in our city) would NOT be thrilled to know that they could be part of a 42 USC 1983/1985 lawsuit as he is using his position to harass, threaten and deny you rights granted under federal law.

Extremely few attorneys even pay attention or know about these laws, which have been on the books since 1871. I have used merely the threat of them against school boards of education, school officials and their attorneys when they try to deny special needs kids an appropriate education. Attorneys can't backpedal fast enough once they research this law.

For the record, Wicca is recognized by the U.S. government as a true religion, entitled to place its symbol (the pentagram) on the graves in Arlington National Cemetery. Sounds trite, but it is a big deal."