Well 2011 has been a very pivotal year for me. Not only did I discover Wicca, but well here it goes.

My new years resolution was to pay off my car and hopefully my credit card to get out of debt once and for all. I also resolved to find a steady income. Then came a slap in the face when I suddenly stopped getting subbing calls. Getting out of debt did not give me any breathing room. Now I am back in debt, as I got another credit card to pay for new tires I desperately needed. I also had to use it to help mom with some expenses.

Mom was on the verge of losing her office building and acting all hysterical. Miraculously the bank had mercy and lowered her payments and hopefully the business will start to turn around. Well we just today discovered the house was in play. My mom believes God would not have brought us this far only to lose the house. The only chance of keeping the house is if I can get a mortgage and buy the house from mom. It is a fairly low monthly payment and in the long run it may be for the better. Also my mom wants me to start watching the office and learning the books on days I am not subbing. Once things turn around she may be able to pay me a salary and that may be my niche. Well pray that this will work out.

Well I have a prospective girlfriend I have mentioned. It would lift my spirits. But I need to be careful I pursue her for the right reasons.

Any advice please send it.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/rjmamula

If you are looking for steady work, EMTs are always in demand...underpaid as all heck but thats why they are in demand and you have time to moonlight on the side.

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timendi causa est nescire

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~ PM ME ANYTIME ALWAYS GLAD TO HELP ~



~ It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live ~

Gaining control of your finances would be the place to start. If we have money worries it can lead to stress and even ruin your prospective new relationship.

Regarding your Mother's business. I can understand you wishing to help her out in her time of need, but you must make sure that you are helping yourself also. You say that if you are to buy the house from your Mother, it would be low payments etc and ensure that you both had a place to stay.

You really need to make sure that you can afford these payments even if you do say they are low. You havent said if you are already making payments to your home via rent to your Mother. If you are not already paying some sort of rent, then a mortgage would be added expense.

My advice would be to plan with your Mother. It may be better for you to have a permanent job rather than to work for her with no salary. This way income is coming into the household rather than just your Mother's business. On the other hand, concentrating soley on your Mother's business may lead to the turnaround you are both wanting as you would have more time to work on this aspect.

If family is important to you, which I'm sure it is from reading your post, then a nice balance needs to be planned out. Both yourself and your Mother need to be putting the same time and effort into the financial situation. It wouldnt be fair for you to get another job and work for her as well, although it may be done out of respect or only for a short time until she is sorted financially. That would be something only you could personally decide.

Is there a reason why you would need to get a mortgage and transfer the deeds of the house into your name? Will this make the monthly payments lower? If yes, then would your Mother be contributing to these monthly payments? It may be better for you both to rent somewhere cheaper until you are both sorted. A financial adviser would help here as they would know the current trends of the market.

The ultimate goal is to make sure that outgoings are less than income. Maybe you can make some changes to your lifestyle that would help, such as shopping, trying to reduce your credit card bills, transferring your credit card bill to another company which offers lower interest, things like that.

Yourself and your Mother need to pool income and look at the larger picture, devise a short term and long term plan. I understand that you want to be there to support your Mother just as she would for you, but it does need to be a balanced relationship so that your relationship remains respectful and happy.

Short term goals could be:

Listing income and outgoings for each of you. (If outgoing is more, look at ways you can both cut down on spending such as only going to the cinema once a month, buy fresh produce and spending more time cooking rather than buying expensive convenience foods)

Make sure all outgoings are plausible. (Would it be cheaper rent a house over a short period of time rather than struggle with mortgage replayments? Could you buy another house later down the line? Would it be cheaper to use public transport rather then run a car? Are you spending too much on new clothes, shoes and hairdressers?)

Work your plan week by week or monthly, whatever suits you best. Small goals are easier to achieve than larger ones. Start off gradually.

List pros and cons for each thing that you are struggling with. (Renting versus trying to keep the house you have) This will mean you can make more informed decisions.

Find ways to save money or make a little extra (Yard sales, fast food delivery jobs, taking pre bought diluted juice to work rather than buying from the machine, things like that) These can be temporary things until you get sorted.

Overall you need to sit down with your Mother and discuss these things and your feelings. Two heads can be better than one when talking about your problems. Make sure a good relationship is kept between yourself and your Mother at all times.

The most important thing is to find inexpensive ways to 'lift your spirits'. Having your friends over for coffee and cake may be cheaper than going out for a meal. Make sure you have a support system in place as it can depress us if we cant buy those lovely new shoes. Keep reminding yourself that going without some luxuries are probably only for the short term. You may even find that less expensive things are just as fun!

As for the prospective girlfriend you mentioned. You were perhaps a little cryptic in the way you said 'persuing her for the right reasons'. Maybe if you could clarify this a little more then better advice could be offered to you.

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I still believe in paradise...
But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for
Because its not where you go,
It's how you feel for a moment in your life
If you find that moment,
It will last forever...

<----BunnyWunny Pancake Head

We have discussed plans. Yes I curently pay rent to my mother but things would be reversed once the house is in my name. The reason we nee to transfer it to my name is she does not have the credit for a mortgage and this would be the only way we could keep the house. I do hav 2 part time jobs and if things go well I could make the payments with them. My mom does have a second job in addition to her business.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/rjmamula

I'm so glad you have talked together with your Mother. I'm also in awe of both of you having two jobs, it means you are both serious in wanting to sort your financial worries.

I believe that together you will succeed in what plans you set for yourself and I wish you the very best!

Make time to stop and smell the roses once in a while during your busy schedules!

_________________
I still believe in paradise...
But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for
Because its not where you go,
It's how you feel for a moment in your life
If you find that moment,
It will last forever...

<----BunnyWunny Pancake Head

Prayers please, as I have yet to know if I can actually qualify for the mortgage.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/rjmamula